Whether you were at the giving or receiving end of anything like these epic fails, or if you simply forgot about Valentine’s Day (which frankly might be worse), here are a few major romantic blunders and the Controse solution to solve any problem of the heart.

1. Presentation is key

We get the creative styling of this gift, but is it really a gift? Just because the packaging has been changed for the holiday it doesn’t really change the contents of the packaging.

The Controse solution: GARDEN HEART NECKLACE 

2. Baked Goods

Who doesn’t like to top off a dinner and indulge in something sweet and decadent? But words matter, and unless you are trying to break some bad news in the nicest way possible, be sure you have enough room to spell out the entire word.

The Controse solution: ANGELIQUE – COUPLE WINGS NECKLACE 

3. Cuuumming!

It’s all fun and games with this novelty gift until you start using it non-ironically. If this wasn’t a gag (no pun intended) and wasn’t followed up with a trip to the Virgin Islands (again, no pun intended), you’d have some making up to do.

The Controse solution: POISONOUS KISS 

4. I would die for you!

It sounds good on paper – actually it doesn’t sound good on paper either. Don’t let it be said that we don’t appreciate the effort it takes to planning an elaborate ruse. Just not this one.

A fake car crash, a paramedic breaks the terrible news, “your SO is dead, so sorry for you loss.” What! Then said SO, covered in Halloween fake blood jumps out and delivers the best surprise ever – “Only Kidding” Will you marry me?

The Controse solution: CURE FOR A BROKEN HEART 

5. My love for you is like - diarrhea…

I have always been a proponent of seasonal product – except the Santa toilet covers and now this: Valentine’s Day toilet paper. Even if the object of your affection is Hot Shit

The Controse solution: BEJEWELED BADASS IN PINK 

6. Heart of Meat

Unless you’re one of the seventeen people in the world who actually understand what happened in that amazing Mickey Rourke film, Angel Heart and really, really need someone’s heart to complete a craft project of some kind – Just don’t

The Controse solution: Guarded Heart Necklace